About Us: Goddesses owner/editor takes a deep dive. The pastel art is his.

Boy on the Road
to Goddess Awareness


Dean Adams Curtis

The journey started in nursery school. My mother, Joanne, a recent Antioch College graduate with her bachelor's degree focused on early-childhood education, had gotten a teaching job at Jack and Jill nursery school in suburban Detroit. She had come to the Detroit area with my father, Chuck, a recent Antioch College graduate with his bachelor's degree focused on business and instructional media, who had gotten a job at the Jam Handy Organization, a media company thriving by servicing Detroit's auto industry.

The Jack and Jill nursery school was owned by Beulah Van Vleck, a robust widow with a nurturing nature. Mom took the job when her two boys, my younger brother Scott and I, were of nursery school age, so that she could still be a part of our pre-school life and get paid for her work in a field she had her degree in. While we attended Jack and Jill school, Missy (as everyone called Beulah Van Vleck), became good friends with my mother and father. And soon Missy became godmother to my brother and I. This had the practical effect of immersing me into a realm exclusively populated by robust, single, aging nursery school teachers who were friends with Missy. Missy would sometimes take me to her church, the Church of Christ Sciences. In other words, she was a Christian Scientist. It was not until many years later, when I was already well down the road to my current understanding of the divine feminine that I would come to understand that within the Church of Christ Sciences, the Holy Trinity has a Holy Ghost who is considered to be feminine.

Flash forward to kindergarten. My teacher picked me to play Prince Charming in Snow White. This is certainly not a role I sought, or looked forward to, as it required that I wear green tights. And also that I kiss a girl.

The dreaded day of my first major performance came, and with the required peck on Beauty's cheek pecked, was thankfully in my past. However, in the minds of my female kindergarten classmates, the moment apparently remained quite alive. I had kissed Beauty. Now I had to marry her.

Beauty's mother called my mother and invited me to her daughter's birthday party. There, my female classmates went forward with a wedding they had planned. I objected to the marriage and escaped immediately thereafter fast afoot to home and continued batchelorhood.

Flash forward to my adolescent awakening. At this point, I did not have any more interest in girls than I had had in kindergarten. Yet suddenly and against my conscious will, I began being kidnapped by decidedly mature women.

These nocturnal dreamtime kidnappings were orchestrated by the varied women who I imagined inhabited the caves below the Curtis family's two-story red brick house in Pleasant Ridge, Michigan. The women were fantasies, phantasims, but you would not have known were you inside my head at the time.

The women came up from their caves into my bedroom through secret passages in the walls of our house, entering through closets and trap doors into my bedroom. They would take turns taking me down into the Earth with them for sexual initiation rites.

It is important to know that I was in no way actively generating these fantasy dreams. Recurring Naked Ladies Club occurrences were completely natural, way my body/mind had of awakening my testosterone flow.

It was not until many years later that I would think back on these foundational sexual fantasies.

I had picked up an unopened box of pastel chalk that my parents had given me as a birthday present several years previous, and was thinking about what subject matter to depict, that The Naked Ladies Club, my vivid primordial male fantasy, leapt out and begged for expression in chalk.

I decided that I would continue my pastel painting by documenting other of my fantasies. I further developed images I drew from recall of the Naked Ladies Club fantasy experiences. I depicted the caves and the passages that I imagined then to be under my Pleasant Ridge home, then continued to depict other elements of my post adolescent dreamscape.

A few years later, as I was skimming The Los Angeles Times book review section, words started jumping out from it and sticking in my brain.

The reviewer was sharing comments about a book titled The Chalice and the Blade. The reviewer wrote about how the book included talk of ancient ceremonies that women conducted in caves and about an ancient reality that had been turned on its head by more recent civilizations. It spoke of pre-civilizations as nature-oriented and female-centric matriarchies, partnerships between men and women, not domination of women over men. This theory was so new to me that I found myself rushing to the source material, to review it myself. Pre-eminently cited in Riane Eisler's book was the name of UCLA archaeologist Marija Gimbutas. Soon thereafter, I tripped to the library to read her books, such as The Goddesses and Gods of Old Europe. as well as Civilization of the Goddess

Also liberally mentioned was James Mellaart, archaeologist of one of the earliest cities, Catal Huyuk in Turkey, that had its heyday 9000 years ago. Mellaart had found artifacts and the paintings on human-made walls (not caves) that he said were unmistakable goddess representations.

I have been exploring prehistory with a passion ever since.


For more Dean Adams Curtis pastel artwork, please click the image below.


Copyright 2020, Dean Adams Curtis. All rights reserved. Email queries to editor@goddesses.com.